Back in July, I wrote about how the democrats were going to hand this election to Donald Trump. At that point, Joe Biden was still the democratic nominee and his obvious cognitive decline was a scary prospect for a lot of us. I also, however, predicted that a new candidate may actually win us the presidency. Whoops! I was wrong. Even I, the jaded, cynical, argumentative bog creature before you, allowed myself to very briefly believe that this fucking hellscape of a country was capable of doing the right thing. Joke’s on me.

Since about 2am on Wednesday, I have already cycled through the five stages of grief. Currently I find myself in the, “you fucked around, looking forward to watching you find out” phase. It is impossible to know where exactly to direct the engulfing, all-consuming rage I am feeling, but I’m no quitter, so I’ll give it my best shot.

The Republicans. I mean duh, right? They’ve shown us who they are over and over again. Unlike so many Americans, when someone shows me who they are, I believe them the very first time. We knew what their goal was, and the things they were willing to, at best overlook, and at worst fully embrace, to get it. More specifically, I’d like to speak to the 52+% of white women that voted for the 34-count felon, twice-impeached, racist, philandering, lying, rapist that is Donald Trump.

Honestly, I used to feel so badly for them. How sad a life they must lead to hate themselves and their own sisters so much that they would sell us out to a man that hates them. How sad a life they must lead to try and inflict their misery onto us. How sad they must be to quote scripture one minute and then act in open defiance of God’s teachings the next. How miserable they must be to try and impose their beliefs onto me and my daughters. How miserable they must be to vote to take away their own bodily autonomy and steal mine in their crossfire. How small they must feel in life that they inflict this misery and destruction on their sisters, often sentencing them to death, while claiming to be pro-life.

I no longer feel badly for any of them. They are grown women who have made their beds and, eventually, they will have to lie in them. Hopefully they can find assistance when they inevitably need it from the men they have given up so much for. Because the rest of us? The generosity has run out and the bank is closed. You’re on your own kid.

The Democrats. God they fucking suck so bad. They. Suck. So. Bad. Why they have this unyielding fealty to partisanship I will never understand. The establishment democrats have essentially just turned into what the republicans used to be. Awful, yes, but like, palatably so. You know? There are two parties because the parties ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DIFFERENT. What on Goddess’ green earth makes these clowns think we want to see our presidential nominee campaign with notorious conservative (who, when in congress, voted in-line with Trump, like pretty much every time) and daughter of a war criminal Liz Cheney? Honestly, who asked for that?

Her team wouldn’t let a Palestinian representative speak at the DNC, completely silencing Arab voices at the convention, but you’re going to prance Liz Fucking Cheney out there? And Bill Clinton, who kept saying the quiet part out loud re: Israel/Palestine?! And then showing you’re even more conservative than Joe Fucking Biden by saying that you’re going to put a republican in your cabinet?! The reason we are democrats is because we do not want to be republicans. Who. Is. This. For. It was clear to anyone with two functioning brain cells to rub together that Kamala was the more qualified, reasonable choice. This election was the democrats’ to lose, and boy did they ever! There was no blue wave, just a red reckoning.

We lost the White House, The House of Representatives, and The Senate; and don’t forget about that stacked ass Supreme Court! He’ll almost certainly be appointing more justices, too. Glad Biden didn’t do something irregular like pack the court though! Trump, the loud and proud wannabe dictator now controls all three branches of government because the democrats have completely lost touch with the electorate. Stop promising cabinet spots to republicans, keep them off the goddamn campaign trail, and stop funding a fucking genocide. The playbook writes it fucking self.

My family. This is the hardest one of all. I already knew, of course, that many of the people that claim to love me and my daughters the most had voted for Trump twice already and were almost certainly going to do it again. And yet, somehow, that does not lessen the blow.

They are grandparents of granddaughters, parents of daughters, uncles and aunts to nieces and great nieces, and they look into the faces of those women and girls unashamed of the choices they made in the voting booth that puts their very existence and safety at risk. They justify their choices by saying it’s their republican values, it’s abortion, it’s the fucking economy, he’ll run the country like a business again, he’s an asshole but he’s not a politician, blahblahblahBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH. There is nothing that excuses you choosing blind fealty to a party and the economy over the safety of the women and girls in your life. I’ve heard so many of them say, “oh he won’t really enact a federal abortion ban! He’ll never ACTUALLY come for same-sex/interracial marriage! You’re overreacting!” Bitch I thought this man was your all-knowing keeper of promises!? Which one is it? Was he lying when he promised to do all those things, or was he just trying to drum up the base? Which one is worse?

You knew what he had planned. You have heard what he has said about women. You have seen him be held liable for rape. You know he’s a terrible person, because you’ve said so yourself, and you still. fucking. voted. for. him. You see how that actually makes it worse, right? You freely offering that you know he’s a vile, repugnant, crook and STILL voting for him makes it worse? How can a man that raised my brother and I to prioritize hard work and honesty, who instilled in me that I should always stand up for myself, who espoused the lessons learned in team sports as important life skills to hone, look me and my girls in the face and claim to love us and STILL VOTE FOR DONALD FUCKING TRUMP. The generous man who just weeks ago was on the floor of my garage installing new brakes onto my husband’s car, who brought over windshield wipers and installed them on mine when I had mentioned in passing that I needed new ones, the man who has helped us during these down times we’ve had since I lost my job? Who is this man? I always knew he was a republican, though I always assumed it was more to spite me, my mom, and my brother seeing as how we are all liberal/super progressive, and he doesn’t know how government works, but him allying himself with Trump will never stop being devastating.

We are all going to suffer under a Trump presidency. Every single one of us. None of these family members make more than $330K a year. Come January, their taxes, like mine will go up. He will institute his tariffs that the importer will pay for, who will then pass that additional cost onto the consumer. The price of goods will continue to rise. Interest rates will spike back up. But at least a Black, Asian woman isn’t POTUS, right?! At least your taxes won’t actually go to helping your neighbors, right?! At least all regulation will be done away with and your food and air will be poisoned again, right?! At least your grandkids in public school will no longer be indoctrinated by the liberal agenda once the Department of Education no longer exists, right?! We’ll see what tune you’re singing once he slashes Medicaid and social security now that you’re all retired or about to be. I hope it was worth it!

Oh! And one last thing– I want you to live with the knowledge every single day that your vote for Trump aligns you with people like Nick Fuentes. He’s a white supremacist and a neo-Nazi, so kudos to you, you snagged a real winner! Here’s Nick Fuentes reacting after it was announced that Trump won the election. Now, listen real close, okay?! Because I really want you to picture this man saying these words to me or one of my daughters. Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy, doesn’t it?!?!?! But this kind of rhetoric is totally fine, right?! It’s EXACTLY what you voted for. I’ll say this again for the cheap seats in the back: my *reaction* to you voting for Trump is not what is radical or extreme here, and I will not be gaslit into thinking otherwise.

The 15 million of you mother fuckers that voted for Joe Biden but failed to show up for Kamala Harris. Fuck all y’all.

There will never be a time that I will not be angry about this. The suffering all of these groups have inflicted upon us in not something that can be forgiven. No, we cannot “agree to disagree” about this. No, I will not respect your decision to vote for Trump, because your vote is a show of violent disrespect toward me and mine. You will not trap me in the paradox of intolerance. Tolerance is a social contract, and you broke that contract with your vote. You cannot have your cake and eat it too. You made your choice, now at least display the smallest modicum of dignity and own it. Look me in the eyes, and look my daughters in the eyes and stand boldly behind your decision.

I woke up Thursday morning after spending most of the day Wednesday sleeping and walking around in a daze with a shocking feeling of freedom. I asked myself, “How can this be?” I was filled with dread and despair the day before, and now I feel as though I have been somehow unburdened? But it finally hit me- if they don’t have to stick to the social contract, neither do I. I am fully embracing my villain era, and if y’all thought I was mean before, you ain’t seen nothing yet. I have been a veritable teddy bear up until now. The next time any of you say some dumb shit in front me, I am going to do my absolute best to make you cry. We know what’s coming down the pipeline, so we will be more prepared to weather it when it lands. At this point, I’m ready to watch you all suffer the consequences of your actions with a front row seat, the flames will come in real handy for the giant bowl of popcorn I will be enjoying. Because as our favorite resistance revolutionary taught us, “When we burn, you burn with us!” No wonder Mango Mussolini wants to ban that book series.