***Spoiler alert for allllllllll things Sex and the City.***

In this week’s installment of “Holy shit watching Sex and the City as an adult is an entirely different experience than it was watching it as a teenager,” we discuss divorce attorney and eventual husband to Charlotte York, Harry Goldenblatt. Last week I explained that how I felt about a lot of the men was wildly different now than it was then, and I discussed how adult Dani thinks Steve Brady is a lowdown, dirty, emotionally manipulative dog. He was bitter and insecure and frankly did not deserve my girl Miranda. Conversely, up until this rewatch, in fact, younger Dani used to think he was quirky, sweet, and adorable. This week we are moving onto balder pastures and discussing Charlotte’s match, Harry Goldenblatt.

As a teenage girl, I loved Harry, and I still *mostly* do now. He was such a surprising choice for the prim and proper Charlotte York, who was a self-proclaimed WASP (White Anglo-Saxon Protestant) and was decidedly not Jewish. Harry was brash, crass, hairy (see what they did there?), and a bull in Charlotte’s carefully waxed and curated China Shop. His being Jewish was not an issue for Charlotte, but her not being Jewish was an issue for Harry. He promised his late mother that he would marry a Jewish woman and have a family that would be raised in the Jewish faith. Despite him not being terribly strict in his religious practices, this was a posthumous promise he was unwilling to break.

I think all the world felt Charlotte’s righteous indignation when she demanded to know why he started anything with her if he knew from the jump it couldn’t go anywhere. He told her he simply could not help himself, he had been so drawn to her that when he realized she was interested in him as well, he couldn’t resist. Fine. But not telling her from the very start? Way not cool Harry.

However, in typical Charlotte fashion, she was not willing to let Harry slip through her fingers so easily. After all, when you find a wealthy, intelligent, kind, funny, thoughtful man that you genuinely like to be around and with whom you have “the most exciting sex” of your life, you lock that shit down. So Charlotte makes the decision to convert to Judaism. I need to clearly emphasize that Harry supported this decision, and was also fully aware that, without question, Charlotte was doing this for him, she had decided he was end game. Religion had never really been a big part of her character, but regardless, she gave up the faith she had followed her whole life and went through a rigorous and accelerated conversion process with Harry’s rabbi, culminating in her baptism and official entry into the Jewish faith.

After her official welcome into Judaism, Charlotte decides to mark the occasion by cooking her first Shabbat dinner for herself and Harry. Harry comes home from work to a beautifully set table, overflowing with a delicious spread of all the traditional dishes, all of which Charlotte had never made before. She had spent days and days researching, shopping, preparing, and cooking, some times over and over again, all of the things important to the faith that she had converted to solely for Harry. And what does this bald bitch do? He comes in and turns on baseball. He pretends to turn the game off when Charlotte asks him to, but in actuality, he just mutes it. It’s the playoffs, after all! That’s a totally valid reason to belittle the thoughtful effort made by the woman who converted to your faith for you exclusively, and to whom for some baffling reason you have not yet proposed marriage.

Now, to be fair, Charlotte’s angry tirade was gross. She asks if he knows what people think and say when they see them together- the gorgeous, willowy brunette with the stocky, sweaty, baldy. And while Harry has every right to have been hurt by her words, Charlotte had every right to be hurt by his indifference. Harry’s parting words were, “And to think, I bought a ring,” and that was that. Harry and Charlotte were no more. To her credit, Charlotte did not abandon her newfound faith and continued to practice Judaism even without Harry.

Eventually, they run into each other at a Jewish singles mixer, and Harry proposes on the spot. They end up living happily ever after and in all honestly, Harry ends up being the best husband and partner of the bunch. But Charlotte did not deserve to be strung along like that, on either occasion. He never should have pursued her knowing that he would only ever marry a Jewish woman, and he should have put a ring on it the minute she completed her conversion.

One more thing- I really did not like how he brought Big up to Carrie in the hospital after baby Rose was born in the first movie. It was because of this that she went looking for his emails and, ultimately, why they got back together. I have complicated feelings about Big and Carrie’s relationship, but for her to marry that clown after he left her at the altar is just absolute insanity. Not technically Harry’s fault, I know, but him and his big ball of love are not off the hook for this one just yet.

Harry had his downfalls, as do all humans. But these flaws are what made him such an impactful character. He was prideful and unpredictable, but at the end of the day, he loved Charlotte fiercely and was a wonderful husband and father. He was faithful and silly and helped to make Charlotte feel lighter and less rigid. They were wonderful compliments to each other; and while I’ll always be bitter by Harry’s behavior early on, he redeemed himself repeatedly. I would take Harry as a partner over and over again, hairy back and all.

In the next installment of the series, we’re going to dive into Big and Carrie and all that that mess entailed. I am going to need a drink for that one.